the architecture of addiction.
a cathedral of craving.
i didn’t crave the drug. i craved the ritual. the way it wrapped routine around the sinful. it was predictable it was habitual. I called it spiritual. I called it clinical. every pattern has a parent. every hit has a child. i wasn’t chasing highs. i was chasing numbness. this isn’t about substances. this is about rhythm. it’s about how your nervous system is wired like a prison. healing is not a rehab, it’s an architecture of ache. it’s building a home out of your own heartbreak. it’s naming the cycle before it calls you by name. the medicine is awareness. the miracle lives in the change. you will never unhook from patterns without betraying the rules that kept you alive. your body is screaming and begging you to listen. maybe choosing yourself isn't healing. maybe it's resurrection.
I nearly died, twice, due to my drug addiction. I was caught in the grips, the vicious cycle for many years. Thankfully, I was given a second chance and found recovery and a 12 step program in 2010. I’ve been clean ever since. Your work here is brilliant. From a recovering addict’s perspective it is very accurate and it filled me with gratitude to be free from that darkness
Ending a habitual cycle takes courage to enact, as we are the only ones who know it’s ending. But that is always the choice we take on, the ultimatum we give ourselves. Do we sit and willingly add links to our chains and shackles. Or do we break free…